the 6-month roll
This by far, is the most staggering year of my fast-paced life. So much has happened, that I just found it hard to sit still and take everything in... let alone blog about it. My friend shared with me what she calls “life's 6-month-roll”: According to her whatever situation/drama we are in at present, in 6 months time we'll be over it and laugh at ourselves as to why we even delved in such predicament - but that's for most people, in my case however, it only takes 3. She was right. I get over things fast. I move on too quickly... too quickly that even I am having a hard time trying to keep up with myself.
Fighting the good fight.
When is a break up really a break up? I’m the girl who cried, “it’s over” too many times perhaps that I have to come up with another break up term all on its own.
How can one person drag you to your lowest low one minute, then lift you up to your highest high the next? The fights are bad, the worst I had even… yet making up makes it double worth.
I wrote this draft four months ago, supposedly my long over-due entry. But I found it hard to finish this story…
because the story never ends...
“ The second misconception about love is the idea that dependency is love. There is no choice, no freedom involved in your relationship. It is a matter of necessity rather than love, when love should be the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other, only when they are quite capable of living without each other yet they choose to live with each other.” – The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck
I’ve been contemplating this thought for days. I’ve cried buckets most nights. The defenning silence of my apartment and the resounding regrets in my head had been unbearable… and the worst part was that I couldn’t share it with anyone - The worst part was the disguise.
Again I’m being vague, it pains me that even in this blog I am restricted to set my thoughts free. I guess that’s why I run out of words to write these days, I have gotten used to keeping all my thoughts and experiences to a fence.
When you’re dreaming with a broken heart, the hardest part is waking up.
You were the only one in my life this past year that I had shared my thoughts with. Ironically, I have moved out of my parents house to declare independence, only to find myself dependent on you.
Now everything in me, is you.
I know this pain and loss will not hinder me from moving on, this deep wound you left me with will not turn into bitterness or anger, that despite this heartache I can still wish you well… and most of all that I can love and trust in myself again.
As I’ve tried to search my old self the past few days, through my past, through old friends, through old photos… I realized that it’s no longer who I am. I realized it had only been a year yet these changes have been so palpable and drastic. Most importantly, I realized I can’t change back. Simply because all my life’s lesson-learned will come to waste and all I can do from here on, is move forward.
As this year is about to face its end, as this year will eventually resurrect itself as a past, as the New Year unfolds… here comes my 6th month roll; I am once again beginning a new chapter in my life.
A chapter without you in it.
Fighting the good fight.
When is a break up really a break up? I’m the girl who cried, “it’s over” too many times perhaps that I have to come up with another break up term all on its own.
How can one person drag you to your lowest low one minute, then lift you up to your highest high the next? The fights are bad, the worst I had even… yet making up makes it double worth.
I wrote this draft four months ago, supposedly my long over-due entry. But I found it hard to finish this story…
because the story never ends...
“ The second misconception about love is the idea that dependency is love. There is no choice, no freedom involved in your relationship. It is a matter of necessity rather than love, when love should be the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other, only when they are quite capable of living without each other yet they choose to live with each other.” – The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck
I’ve been contemplating this thought for days. I’ve cried buckets most nights. The defenning silence of my apartment and the resounding regrets in my head had been unbearable… and the worst part was that I couldn’t share it with anyone - The worst part was the disguise.
Again I’m being vague, it pains me that even in this blog I am restricted to set my thoughts free. I guess that’s why I run out of words to write these days, I have gotten used to keeping all my thoughts and experiences to a fence.
When you’re dreaming with a broken heart, the hardest part is waking up.
You were the only one in my life this past year that I had shared my thoughts with. Ironically, I have moved out of my parents house to declare independence, only to find myself dependent on you.
Now everything in me, is you.
I know this pain and loss will not hinder me from moving on, this deep wound you left me with will not turn into bitterness or anger, that despite this heartache I can still wish you well… and most of all that I can love and trust in myself again.
As I’ve tried to search my old self the past few days, through my past, through old friends, through old photos… I realized that it’s no longer who I am. I realized it had only been a year yet these changes have been so palpable and drastic. Most importantly, I realized I can’t change back. Simply because all my life’s lesson-learned will come to waste and all I can do from here on, is move forward.
As this year is about to face its end, as this year will eventually resurrect itself as a past, as the New Year unfolds… here comes my 6th month roll; I am once again beginning a new chapter in my life.
A chapter without you in it.
monique♥ 1:33 am
