my diaper-wetting-spongebob.

this is the sight i see when i wake at day and just before i climb into bed.

in the morning-- he'd go "ate nikki, change paphers (adult translation: pampers)... weysh divine?(where's divina? da yaya)" late at night... as i climb into bed when he's already in deep sleep i'd smother him with kisses... the only opportunity i have coz he dislikes being kissed now hehe... *smooch*

the poet won me over.

And so that of what you have said
Of Love's lies and all that's been read

All knowledge knows is of limit
All's up to you if you wanna believe it

Blame love not for what scar she left
Blame love not for what you thought was theft
Turn the page over, go give it a try
See the story unfold, see it fly

In all of life's walks there's never the perfect road
Sometimes you're down, but that's no reason to fold

Hold your head high, c'mon and give it a try
But not of bitterness or pride
But that of acceptance and knowing you've tried

Love may hurt you in a thousand ways
Not intentional though, and not for play

All is good til you see the end
But it's not the end my dear,
I'll be standing where the road bends

So take my hand and walk with me
I'll show you that of Love...
Of what you didn't see...


- JP
June 14 2004

dating for dummies.

suicidal can be the one who possesses optimist and hopeless romantic ideals... first infatuation, or maybe love could be the greatest of trials/highlights in our young years. we tend to brush off the many, although once our so seemed ideal partner is met, a spiral whirlwind of a fall takes place. despite a person of good judgement your bird's-eye-view is blocked and your world involves only you and that person.. all else ceases to exist and fade faintly to the background.

I had been/was a single girl for a long time, I never had a long-term relationship… but I dated quite a lot. I learnt of many things after this whole ordeal we call-- dating.
So here’s my share…


nikki's personal dating guide (revised edition):

1. first and foremost: if you meet a guy on a 'gimmick' it is rather unlikely that he is looking for a relationship or a steady, in most cases to say the least.
** important note:
most single girls go out to have fun and to hopefully meet a new guy/ potential boyfriend.
guys (single or not) go out to have fun... and to hopefully get some.
2. if you haven’t heard from him after the first date (no matter how good the date was) it means HE IS NOT INTERESTED. AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! don't make the mistake of calling him, or even worst- asking him out. It had only been one date and you will only seem desperate.
3. if me, myself and i are his favorite words in a sentence.. BEWARE!
4. there’s a huge difference from saying "i want you" and "i need you"... just like possessing or acquiring from a necessity. Don’t ever let any guy rush you... due time is needed to get to know a guy.
5. always remember: if the guy enjoys gossip.. then HE is one to talk. (I learned that the hard way!)
6. a guy with every good trait you can find minus honesty is nothing but a waste of time.
7. pick your battles wisely. do not over-analyze. GUYS DON'T THINK THE WAY WE DO.
8. have your own set of friends apart from his… and a life too.
9. it is wise to engage in girl-talks once in a while. good friends will always tell you the truth.
10. i wrote this on my bedroom wall:
don’t be afraid to get hurt. TAKE THE RISK.
i realized that with love, no matter what the outcome is-- YOU WIN.

you win for learning and for letting go.


BUT most importantly--
this has been said about a million times, let me say it again:
if you initially feel like something in you is missing, then no matter who crosses your path they shall never be able to be your half and make you whole.. no one but YOU can fulfill your own essence of being.